#thisisreallife

#realtalk
I've been thinking lately, and I think I might actually want to grow up. I thought I didn't, but now, I think I do. I wanna grow up and go to school and learn new things and have dorm room with a roommate and go on random adventures at 2am and fall in love and get my heart broken and then really fall in love and know its real and (go ahead - call me Molly Mormon, I dare you) get married in the temple and have all my crazy older siblings be so proud of me and maybe my brothers will even come home to see us. I want to have adorable little babies and be the craziest pregnant lady and drive my husband mad and raise those little kids with all the love I can possibly muster. I want the hard times and the good times and to spend it all with a family that I love.

#realtalk
I used to hate this idea of growing up. And even more, I hated the idea of growing up to be the average "we met at BYU and got engaged two months later and now we have five kids" kind of Mormon girl. I hated it so much.

#realtalk
But if this is the life that will bring me happiness, if it will give me something to keep looking up to, then I want it. And if you think this makes me some crazy Molly Mormon, so be it. Because it's here that I've found happiness and safety and comfort. It's here that I've discovered who I want to be.

#realtalk
I've had my fair share of trials, don't be fooled by my facade.
And I'm real tired of life's sh- I mean, crap.

#realtalk
I just wanna be the best person that I can be.

#realtalk
I wish I was a kid again.

#realtalk
Maybe... maybe I don't wanna grow up yet.

Red, Blue, and Yellow Little You

I was a fairly unobservant kid.
Two years old with four siblings out of the house, I was awfully lonely in that big, old, red brick house with the trampoline.

Three years old, I was still unaware,
But I do remember the exact day we moved into that new, blue, one story, rainy day house with the big backyard.

And I sure do remember you.

Four years old, and I remember driving down to Utah to see you, my newborn niece.
I remember wondering at your jaundice yellow skin and your special little "light bed".
We stayed weeks longer than we should have, something was wrong. When we left, we brought home my new "baby sister"

and her little light bed.

Five years old, I really don't remember much
But I do remember that summer afternoon on our big blue porch, looking at you and making a promise, kind of to you but mostly to me, that I would watch you grow up every single day.

And I might not remember much,
But I sure do remember you,

and I could never forget what it felt like to finally have a friend.