I'm Not Dumb

I'm scared right now

because the words aren't coming

and I need to have a post done by 11:59.

But every single word that I write sounds cheesy and dumb and has been written before.

I'm lost 

and confused!

and I feel like an idiot.

My greatest fear in life: achieved.

over and over again.

Because, yeah, I'm afraid of heights,

and I'm afraid of spiders and wasps.

I'm afraid of kidnappers in the night

and the monster beneath my bed.

I'm pretty scared of the dark

and i'm really scared of rejection.

But by far i'm most afraid of being thought of as dumb.

I'm so afraid that as I pour my freaking heart out on this blog you're laughing at what I have to say

or that the only sticky note you'd leave in my journal says "uhhh..." like no one'd ever get what i'm writing. (oh wait, that already happened.)

I'm afraid that i'll get the question wrong

or that i'll make an incorrect claim

or spell something wrong.

Because all I've ever wanted was to be smart

and for everything to be easy.

But i'm not quite there yet.

So please just be a little patient with my stupid comments

and my misspeled wurds.

Because I'm working on it,

and I promise that I'm not dumb,

just a little scared.